


Bittersweetness

by somniumfaults



Category: IDOLiSH7 (Video Game)
Genre: Gift Fic, Incest, M/M, Pining, Self-Hatred, Sibling Incest, Unrequited Love, fair tbh, idk what else to tag this with it's pretty straightforward and simple, iori can't get over the fact that it's taboo as shit lol, iori is soft and just wants to be happy, not nsfw
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-12-26
Updated: 2018-12-26
Packaged: 2019-09-28 02:06:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17173787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/somniumfaults/pseuds/somniumfaults
Summary: Iori just wants his brother to be happy and healthy, even if he knows that his own happiness is doomed to be forever out of reach.





	Bittersweetness

**Author's Note:**

> When a friend of mine requested that I write pining mitsuio for their xmas gift fic, I got so incredibly excited because I had yet to actually do anything for the pair before despite absolute adoring their dynamic. This fic was actually the first on my list of gifts that I managed to finish, and while it's not much (I actually actively avoided using dialogue in the latter part because I didn't remember... how Mitsuki talked to Iori...) I really enjoyed writing it. I hope they enjoy it, and I hope y'all enjoy it too!

Iori has always been perfect, not a single blemish or mistake in his entire life. He was top of his class. He designed their bakery’s best-selling products. He was good at all kinds of performances ranging from sports to singing to speeches, regardless of whether or not he enjoyed them. Not to be vain either, but he also knew he was good looking, and was by no means oblivious to the shy murmurs from the girls when they thought he couldn’t hear them. He couldn’t help but wonder then, where he went wrong to have committed such a big mistake.

… No, that was a lie. Iori knew just why he harbored such a terrible, atrocious secret. It was the one true blemish on his perfect life, and it was a blemish that would never go away no matter how much he tried to. After all, how can you erase your love for someone? It’s always there no matter how much one tries to suppress it, and Iori had long decided to accept living with his. Everything he did was for his brother so… it was only fair he allow himself to be selfish just this once.

He knew that loving his brother wasn’t normal. It was immoral, disgusting, and if anyone ever found out then he would likely end up disowned. Yet he had still clutched his decidedly non-platonic love to his chest for as long as he could remember, as his dirty little secret.

Mitsuki was beautiful. He was perfect––far more than Iori could ever hope to be. He was kind and selfless, and had a smile that fix even the worst of days. He put his all into everything he did, and always got back up even if he failed. Most importantly, he was never one to judge people for who they were.

That was probably what started it all.

When Iori was younger, he had been much more outgoing with his interests. He had no reason to hide who he was at his core, and why would he? His family loved him and supported all of his interests, no matter how “girly” they may have been. It had been a happy time, but reality was quick to come crashing down the door.

Upon entering school, Iori quickly found out that the rest of the world’s population was not nearly as forgiving to him as his parents were. His love for cute things was ridiculed as too feminine, and despite his parents’ best efforts, shame was quick to fill his small body. Boys weren’t supposed to like cute things. Boys were supposed to be cool and tough. If he liked cute things, then he must be a girl! Only girls liked endearing things after all, and as such, Iori rejected himself. He steeled himself to only like “cool”, boyish things, and shunned anything cute against his heart’s wishes.

It hurt. It hurt so bad. He hated it so much.

His parents were saddened, but dismissed his sudden change of heart as normal and simply respected his wishes. Iori wanted to cry at that, to scream at them to make him stop and force him to take what they knew he liked. Deep down, he wanted the comforting excuse that they “forced him” to take them. Yet he said nothing, and silently accepted their respect.

Mitsuki though... Mitsuki was not so easily going to let his baby brother slip away like that. He had always had excellent interpersonal skills for his age, and that was only amplified by the fact that he and Iori were like cookies and cream. They were always together, and knew each other better than anyone else.

Mitsuki was the one who came to him at his lowest point and served as a light in the darkness, to show him that it was okay to be himself. It didn’t matter what anyone else thought, because you couldn’t help who you were. It was the reason why Iori could accept owning and admiring cute things, even though he retained the motto that hiding it was better safe than sorry.

Iori couldn’t help but feel guilty at using Mitsuki’s assurance from back then to justify his own twisted love. After all... he couldn’t help but fall in love with his brother, right?

Iori scrutinized the cake he held in front of him with an intensity that Tamaki would most certainly declare as “frightening”. He had been baking for the past few hours, and if the result of his time didn’t come out as perfection, then he’d be a shame to the Izumi name. He would be a shame to _himself_ for making such a mistake, and he’d have to make the whole thing over again.

It was a good thing he hadn’t then, because his rare break in schedule would be ending soon, and he would have to head back to the dorms for dinner. Of course, he could always use the excuse of having eaten with his parents for why he hadn’t eaten with the rest of the members, but it was of his mind that no suspicion would be better than having to make excuses. Besides, if he admitted to visiting home without Mitsuki, his brother would have certainly demanded to know why they hadn’t gone together.

“I’ll be leaving now Mother!” He called out as he stepped out into the front of the shop and out from the kitchens. “I cleaned up my mess, so you won’t have to worry about that. I also dropped off some new designs that I thought of at school on the counter for you to look over.”

His mom looked at him fondly from where she was restocking some assortment boxes. She put them down as he approached, and moved to press a brief kiss to his cheek.

“What did I do to deserve such a kind and hardworking son?” The smile lines around her eyes crinkled. “I’m sure your brother will appreciate you going out of your way to bake him something when he’s working so hard, when you’re both working so hard. Thank you for the concepts and for stopping by. You have the food I gave you to take, yes? Yes. Alright. Stay safe on your way back and come home again soon, okay?”

Iori returned her fondness in the light smile that crossed his face, even as he lamented internally how disappointed she would be if she found out the motives behind his cake. That was something she was never to find out though, and he wished her goodbye once again as he left the shop.

The return back home was uneventful except for the caution he held the cake box with. He rode the bus, held the bag of food containers in his lap, arrived home, and stealthily inserted said bag into his backpack––of course, making sure to shift everything so the cake box was set neatly on top where it couldn’t get damaged. Nothing more to it, and if it wasn’t for the slight butterflies in Iori’s chest, he wouldn’t have thought the day was anything different than yesterday, or the day before that, or even tomorrow or two days from now.

“I’m home.”

“Iorin is here!” Tamaki’s voice filtered down the hall as he poked his head out to look at him with an expression of excessive exasperation. “You took foreverrrrrr. I’m starving... Hurry and come eat!”

Iori rolled his eyes and waved him off. He had to put away backpack first so no one would accidentally damage the cake... or find out of its existence and ruin the entire surprise Iori had spent so much time planning in his head.

Mitsuki gave him a warm smile as he hurried into the room, careful to hide his nerves when he returned it. His brother looked stunning as usual... absolutely adorable. It was only further accentuated by the apron tied around his waist and the plate of food he held in his hands, having just served Iori. The sight was 100% domestic (if he ignored the group of people in the background at least...), and it took all Iori had to not externalize his internal meltdown.

It was times like these that Iori _really_ wished the two of them hadn’t been born as siblings, and that the possibility of his fantasies becoming true actually existed. He’d even say he wasn’t asking for much when it came to his simple “happy couple” dreams, if only for the looming fact that that would be _incest_ and _illegal_.

Thankfully he didn’t have to dwell on the painful thought for long thanks to his fellow group-mates quickly dragging him to the table to eat and chat. Dinner flashed by before he knew it, and suddenly Iori found himself standing in front of Mitsuki’s door with his present cradled in his arms.

His palms were clammy, and butterflies were fluttering in his stomach. If he were anyone else, he’d look a nervous wreck, yet he was careful to school his expression into something calmer. The only visible sign of his anxiety would be the subtle signs of him biting his inner lip.

It was silly, he knew, to be nervous. It’s not as if he hadn’t spent his entire life around Mitsuki, as if they weren’t family. But simple things like this became so much more, so much more nerve-wracking once romantic feelings came into play. Hesitation and overthinking his actions became commonplace, despite knowing logic said to do otherwise.

He hated it.

Before he could lift up his hand to knock, the door swung open and the two brothers stared at each other wide eyes. Mitsuki had clothes clothes tucked against his chest in an almost mirror image of Iori, and it didn’t take a genius to figure out where he had been planning on going. Iori almost felt bad for keeping him occupied. Almost.

The brat in him only cared that he had his big brother’s attention all to himself.

“Iori!” Mitsuki exclaimed, stepping back to let his brother into his room without even a thought. It wasn’t often Iori came physically seeking him out of the blue, so it was only natural that he would make time for him, no matter how tired Mitsuki was. Iori was his little brother after all, and it was his responsibility to take care of him. “Is something the matter?”

Iori shook his head without a word, and stepped into the room if only to ensure that what was about to happen was private between him and Mitsuki. He would much rather not risk the other boys notice and tease him for the next month, and either way, things like this were the closest Iori was ever going to get in terms of having private, romantic moments with Mitsuki. He had to take advantage of the opportunities as the came along.

Mitsuki had settled himself on the bed in the meantime. His gaze was expectant, but not pushy. He had always been good about giving Iori the space and time he needed to come to terms with saying things, and it was just one more aspect Iori loved about him amongst the thousand other reasons.

“I...” He cleared his throat. “I noticed you’ve had an excessively packed schedule as of late in comparison to your normal schedule. You’ve had new types of jobs too, that have required different skillsets that you normally have to utilize. I was watching to see how you’ve been doing because of that, and you have been especially tired lately so I made your favorite dessert as a pick-me-up treat.”

It was a struggle for Iori to keep himself from trailing off in the end from his embarrassment, and he just barely managed to keep a straight face as he stiffly held out the pastry box to Mitsuki.

The room was quiet for several seconds, and Iori briefly feared that perhaps Mitsuki didn’t _want_ a pick-me-up pastry. If that was the case, he wished that the ground would just open up and swallow him whole because he just embarrassed himself in front of his _crush_. Luckily that wasn’t the case.

The grin that spread across Mitsuki’s face was near-infectious, and the light in his eyes was worth any sort of embarrassment and fear to Iori. Mitsuki was positively glowing from how touched he was, and really Iori couldn’t have asked for anything more from his efforts. In fact, he would even say it _almost_ made up for the fact that his feelings would never be truly realized.

“Oh, Iori...” Mitsuki smiled softly to himself as he took and opened the box. “Is this one of the perks of having an always perfect brother? I didn’t expect this at _all._ ”

The smile shifted into something with a more cheeky air as he redirected his attention to Iori. He put the dessert down by his side, and beckoned for Iori to come closer. The moment Iori stepped into Mitsuki’s arm’s length, the taller sibling was pulled down by the shoulders with an affectionate noogie to top it all off.

Any complaints Iori spluttered out were flustered and half-hearted, and both siblings knew that they were all for show. Same went for the cheeky affectionate teasing Mitsuki gave Iori, because while genuine, they were just another way of showing each other love, and Iori had no complaints on that part.

After the brief commotion, they settled down and returned to each other small smiles filled with undeniable warmth. There was no more teasing or facades, just pure and unfiltered love for each other.

“Leave it to Iori to realize how stressed I am,” Mitsuki commented fondly as he inspected the dessert on his nightstand. “Not only that, but you made my favorite too. Thank you so much. I really needed this.”

Iori coughed and cleared his throat.

“You’re welcome. I didn’t want to see my brother struggling without doing anything to help,” He eyed the sleep clothes neatly sitting on the bedspread. “I don’t want to keep you from getting some rest any longer though. I’ll leave you to get ready for bed.”

Mitsuki followed his gaze and seemed to understand what Iori meant. He was quick to reassure him that he was far from being a bother, yet the fact that he didn’t actively stop Iori from leaving was telling for how exhausted he was.

“Don’t stay up too late studying, alright? Or else I’m going to be mad at you!”

The door swung shut behind Iori, and the teen was left standing there with nothing else but his thoughts now that his hands were free of Mitsuki’s present. It was in this time that the happy, fluttery feeling that he had maintained when with his brother began to shift into something far more bittersweet. In the end, no amount of happy moments with his brother would ever result in any kind of fruition for his feelings.

Iori let out a sigh and finally began to make his way back to his room. There was no point in dwelling on the negatives, and he had done what he wanted to do. All that was left was to convince himself of one last thing for the day: just this once, he would allow himself to pretend that Mitsuki’s affections meant anything.


End file.
